can i feel nostalgia for something i never had?

can i waste a nice spring day having sad thoughts all the time?
can i be so stupid shortsighted repetitious, doing all the time the same errors?
can i still keep telling lies to myself, while i understood the truth many months ago?
can i feel jealous for things happened in the past, while i was doing things even worse?
can i feel like somebody stole me something important months ago, while it was ME who was stealing?
can i feel nostalgia for something i never had?

you shall know my velocity

i have big problems in managing my life: there are too many things i wanna do, to many people to meet, to many places to see, too many artists to understand - i have not enough time.

i don't sleep much, i don't watch tv nor spend any evening just on the couch without doing anything significant, but still i have not enough time.

growing up means - first of all - learning how to say "No" to some things - clearly i'm not growing up.

but still: how can i manage it? how can i say "No!" to any single fragment of beauty and joy?

Good book

Good book
Originally uploaded by av_producer.

a good book is a source of subtle and soft pleasure

i am going now to anjoy the sun: a bench in the park, a good book (by the way, The Dice Man, by Luke Rhinehart), a bunch of happy thoughts, nothing else

happiness sometimes is a simple fruit to gather

until

Our shadows on the beach
Originally uploaded by Jill.

..until we become 2 shadows, and the link between us becomes corporal.

shadow/shadows

i am made by the shadows of the past,
built with mental and corporal memories

i am presently a shadow,
cause the monolitic self i used to be
has freed himself from the myth of identity

i am made by the shadows
of all the things still to come:
in front of me they lenghten
like a shadow in the sun

but still i feel like a whole-material-made animal
and sometimes a shadow seems to me just a shadow

my shadow. on ice.
Originally uploaded by norwegianmale.

shadow, mine
Originally uploaded by .food 4 eyes..

cień
Originally uploaded by Agnieszka.

Playing Solitaire
Originally uploaded by Agnieszka.

Imagination Is A True Story

Imagination Is A True Story
Originally uploaded by Ambiance-Moushkila.

nothing is real, except what's in our heads

AND

what happens IMMATERIALLY between us

monkey

monkey on yellow wall
Originally uploaded by awfulsara.

i stand here on a seat, watching the world flowing in front of me

i climb walls and buildings and mountains, reaching for my limits

i love to be naked

i don't feel superior to any human being

i love trees, the tallest the best

i love to have sex, and i'll love my children

i scream

i love to walk in the nature, and i don't want to destroy it, cause it's just my natural habitat

i'm a monkey