self respect, habitude, hope, fear. and love.
I often find myself unable to understand some people's behaviour. I thought about it reading the blog to which I link (the three coloured balls here above..).
It talks about a guy who hits his lover. And she keeps going out with him. She kinda feels she deserves it.
Why do we accept that some kind of bad things can continue happening in our lives?
Several times I've seen love stories that lead to this: to a progressive acceptation of some bad things, just because one cares too much about the relationship. But it's not only this: it's something deeper and more complicated than this.
For example, in this blog I read, the girl thinks to deserve it, and hopes that accepting everything may make things better one day. Her (1) LACK OF SELF RESPECT horrifies me, really. Reading the post in the blog, I had a strong and disgusting sensation in the stomach.
Some other times I've seen love stories grow sadder and sadder and the two of them accepting it just by (2) HABITUDE, standing there day after day, just acting like everything's normal. Then one day explode.
And some other times more I've seen (3) HOPE keeping two persons together, the hope that only working every day for the future and being able to bear all the problems, may one day make things better.
But there's more. I'm sure some of you have met at least one person with a (4) FEAR TO REMAIN ALONE so deep and strong, that forces him/her to bear anything, rather than being alone.
All these times, I found myself thinking: “I just don’t understand how one can be such a fucking idiot, to stand all this shit”. I could not understand such persons and I felt a huge pity for them, together with a deep rage.
Well, now… lack of self respect, habitude, hope, fear, are for sure among the biggest forces that run our lives. We are human beings, we’re so fragile in front of these forces – we are slave to these passions and often unable to control them.
And most of all, when in love, we just show to the other our soft spots, cause we trust our lover. Every single one of us has some soft spots, none excluded. We show to our lover how big is our fear and what scares us most. We talk everyday about our hopes. We often renounce to self respect for the sake of the other. The point is: it should be mutual.
Next time we face a situation like that, then, we should just think that it’s not a matter of not respecting oneself enough, being scared of staying alone, hoping too much or letting habitude win: it just depends on how big a piece of shit the other lover is.
1 Comments:
hi G,
since i talked to two friends of mine recently who kept loving the person who hurts them most and doesnt respect them at all (maybe cause the men lost respect for themselves) i know exactly what you mean. i totally agree with your thesis that these fears cannot be a base for love. but you also say "love makes blind". its very hard to convince somebody of this if he or she only believes what real love is about, but never lived it before, actually.
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